Music And Rituals

When I was 16 years old, I was diagnosed with a rare disorder called PANDAS (Pediatric autoimmune disorder associated with streptococcus. During this time, I struggled to live a normal life because My sickness caused me to not act like my normal self. My parents did everything to adjust and comfort my needs at the time, but nothing seemed to help until I begin to lean on my religious faith. When I had felt that all hope was lost, I begin to try to strengthen my relationship with God through prayer and begin to listen to a lot of gospel music to keep me encouraged.

    Before I was diagnosed with PANDAS, I was already a religious person because i was raised in the church and my family were very strong Christian believers. After being diagnosed with PANDAS I kind of lost touched with my religious roots while I was attempting to learn to live with PANDAS; and for a while I continued to be out of contact with my religious side, but I soon learned that my religious faith would be the key to me overcoming PANDAS. When I realized this, I begin to pray more and worry less; I was amazed by how my prayers were answered and how God begin to work in my life. Seeing these progressive changes in my life due to engaging in my religious beliefs made me feel confident in my abilities to overcome PANDAS. It also made me want to fight more because I knew that I had God on my side. This sudden increase of faith made my relationship with God prosper and ultimately helped me keep a positive mindset despite the things I was going through.

    While diagnosed I also began to listen to more gospel music. The gospel music I listened to helped comfort me and feel encouraged even on my worst days. I remember sitting in my room listening to Marvin Sapp's " Never Would Have Made It" with my headphones blasting just because it helped me feel like I could get through. During this time this song was more than a song for me, it was a message that spoke to me and gave me the courage that I needed when I didn’t have it in me. This song amongst other gospel songs saved me and kept me going at my lowest and most vulnerable point in life. Without gospel music I don’t know how well I could have kept my composure at this time during my life, although I still struggled the music made life a little bit easier.